Life Abundantly.

A dedication letter to Ava C Nash, My Grandma. May your love and memories last me the rest of my lifetime. Rest in heaven. 07-04-1954 to 02-15-2021

2021 has just begun and I find myself picking up the pieces to my heart. I am in complete disbelief that you are no longer here with us. As a little girl I made a fairytale in my head that the people closest to me could never die, that they would be here forever, crazy thing is I truly believed it. As if losing Grampa 7 years ago wasn't enough, now you too. You were one of my biggest supporters, now that I think about it we were totally fan girls of each other. You were a breath of fresh air, a joke waiting to be told, and a heart bigger than gold. Grandma you were my everything, and simply put irreplaceable. From birth you and Grampa stepped up and were literally parental figures for me. I vividly remember the nights before easter having to get my hair hot combed, and you telling me it's just the steam as you burned my scalp every time. The designated panties we would put on my head to tie my hair up because nothing else seemed to stay on overnight. Or even the summers we would go to California to visit auntie Rose and Genie. You did whatever needed to be done for me and for that I am truly grateful.

You are one of the strongest people I know. Death is something you were forced to become so familiar with. From losing siblings, a child of your own, and so many more to follow; you showed me without saying a word how to embody strength. I am honored to be named after my late aunt Kimberly Marie Nash, I enjoy everyone saying I am so much like her in so many ways. I am excited you get to be reunited with everyone you had to painfully let go of during your lifetime. I know it is a bit selfish to say, but I wasn't ready for this, you left before so many milestones I would have loved to share with you. Like my kids experiencing a great grandmother, or even my wedding day, but most of all seeing all of what life had to offer us once I finally made it. Every moment was special with you, I laughed, cried, talked, cuddled, and loved to be with you. while we are here I also would like to put on record the I was the favorite because who else would be? I am truly going to miss game nights with you, you are probably the reason I love UNO so much to this day, trouble + connect four come in a strong second and third place.

You truly messed me up with this. I was willing to work at home to make sure you were okay. I would have given everything to see you walk out of this. My biggest take away from you was your confidence and the way you didn't take sh*t from anyone. You were ready for war about any of us and we loved you for it. To see those numbers count down on your monitor is forever stamped in my memory, but the smallest things mattered to me during this time. I got to comb your hair, lotion you up, hold your hand, and simply just be with you. I had a dream you woke up and were back home with us, but I guess my dream was you waking up on the other side. I know we aren't suppose to question God but never in a million years did I think New Years day would be my last time seeing you. I am glad you are no longer suffering, you put up a great fight.

Forever in always in my heart, I love you Black. SKIN is dedicated to you. You are the driving force behind my why. Kiss paw paw for me and I will see you on the other side boo.

Love your grandbaby,

Kimberly Charday Smith